You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed. Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

Goth-O-Matic

This is too funny. It was generated using the Goth-O-Matic Poetry Generator. The sad thing is that it actually makes more sense than the awful author's own writing.




death deserved

what have you ruined?
a dark black shadowy cloud of sickness as memories scream.
once we experienced heaven,
innocent and hand in hand,
but your desire perished.
a horrific vision of darkness -
memories follow hate, follow bitterness,
love ground to dust.
in a storm of vengeance,
i reject you.

Bald is Borg-like

Britney shears. All that's missing is the lollipop. Oh, wait. She's been seen with one of those as well. Kojack lives. Seriously, what was Britney hoping to accomplish with this foolishness, other than publicity? If she were to recruit Paris and Christina, they could go out for Halloween as the Three Stooges. Baldness works for some people--Jean-Luc Picard for instance--but her cranium looks Borg-like.

This is hilarious. It's a mirror of a blog at Xanga. There are actually sites devoted to exposing this obnoxious self-published writer and his baseless accusations against anyone who points out:

1. his lack of spelling
2. his lack of grammar
3. his lack of proofreading
   
4. his ridiculous, overly contrived plots
5. his plot inconsistencies
6. his inconsistent characters' names and spelling thereof
7. his lack of editing
8. that Lulu.com com is a printer, not a publisher
9. he's been banned from the HWA, Spinetinglers, Live Journal, Dead Journal, and Greatest Journal for terms-of-service violations
10. that he misspelled his own middle name on the cover on one of his anthologies, and didn't change it until others pointed it out to him
    
11. that he stole cover art for another anthology from National Geographic, and had to again change his cover to avoid being sued
12. that several of his anthology authors have filed a class action lawsuit against him to get paid, yet he just bought some spiffy new video camera equipment
13. that several publishers who had accepted his work subsequently pulled him from their line up
14. that his "fan base" consists of people who read at the third grade level
15. that he has to constantly recruit new contributors for his anthologies on college campuses, because former ones who don't get paid per their contracts never submit anything again
    

You Are An Olive Tree

You're a warm, kind person, and you always seem to be the mediator. Balanced and reasonable, people can count on you to be tolerant. You have a well developed sense of justice - and avoid aggression and violence. Your idea of a perfect day? Reading in the afternoon sun. You are cheerful, sensitive, empathetic, and free of jealousy.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

Spacey and Shakin'

The Spacey:

According to the Orlando Sentinel a female astronaut drove all the way to Orlando to kidnap a love rival.

Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence. Police considered her such a danger that they requested she be held without bail in the Orange County Jail, reports show.
[. . .]

You're how old, and how stupid? Did you really ever think you could get away with this?

Police said that along with the weapons and other items in Nowak's car, they found e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, Mapquest directions from Houston to the Orlando airport, and diapers, which Nowak told police she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the drive.
[. . .]

Oh, that's planning ahead. No rest stops. Pure genius.

Nowak's biography shows she is a 1985 graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis with a degree in aerospace engineering, and a former test pilot who has logged more than 1,500 hours of flight in at least 30 types of aircraft.

I don't care how many hours you've logged. What kind of person does Annapolis let graduate, and what happened between then and now?


And The Shakin':

Reports have it that Hawaii is having a nasty cold snap. Temps are dipping down into the 50s overnight. Yes, that's Fahrenheit, folks. People are freezing there, complaining of the cold breezes coming in the windows at night and in the morning.

I don't doubt the value of hot noodle soup, hot cocoa, or an electric blanket (down comforters are much better choices, IMHO), when it gets "cold," but don't get me started.

If it dips into the 50s at night, shut your windows! You use air conditioning most of the year, so don't tell me your windows won't shut.

The wind chill was -21F when I left the house this morning for work. I wore down and fur over my flannel-lined khakis, turtleneck and a mohair sweater, and stayed plenty warm, without needing gloves. Three of those items are animal products.

Sorry, PETA. Tomorrow, I might have to break out the silk, and make it a fourth animal product. I'm sure you can make a case for how badly silkworms are treated, but at the moment, I don't really care. Cotton alone just isn't doing it for me.

It's Fashion Week in Oz

Segolene Royal, Queen Elizabeth II, Condi, and now Hillary Clinton? According to The Sydney Morning Herald, the Italian label Gattinoni unveiled evening gowns featuring

the US presidential wannabe Hillary Clinton, the French presidential wannabe Segolene Royal, the British great-grandmother wannabe Queen Elizabeth and the US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to a long line of famous females who have been associated with the fashion house.

Its founder, Fernanda Gattinoni, designed Audrey Hepburn's costumes for the 1956 movie War and Peace.

Oh, the irony of it makes me want to either laugh or puke. Not sure which. As much as I admire Condi, I really would not want to wear a dress with anyone's face on it. Come to think of it, I really would not want to wear a dress.

Next thing you know, Nancy Pelosi will have a call in to the designer demanding that her mug be featured on a dress, made of puce silk brocade.