Saturday, July 29, 2006


Speaking cat/chat/gato is very easy. Cats, in general, are not verbose. They make approximately four basic sounds, with some variations. They are also excellent about obeying hand signals.

Mrhnnrrr = "I'm happy. Life is good."

Maooow = "I'm a bit ticked off. I need some attention. Follow me, and I'll show you what I want."

Aowww = "Dammit, you just stepped on my paw or tail, or clipped my claws, and I don't like it!"

Hiss = "I'm really pissed off. Leave me alone."

I've heard a hiss perhaps twice in my life. I almost never hear an "aowww," but when I do, that means I inadvertently stepped on a paw. Apologies are accepted after remediation, and life goes on. The "maooow" usually means "I'm hungry--feed me," but not always. Sometimes it means "Dammit, you woke me up. I was in the middle of a good dream, so I'm a bit grouchy."

Mostly, I just hear "mrhnnrr," even after I stick her with an insulin-filled syringe after dinner.

Every other cat who's taken up residence with me has followed these same vocal rules. I had one cat who would obey dog commands--"sit," "stay," "down," and "heel." He amazed the vet when I put him through his paces. "I've never seen a cat do that before," said the vet. I replied "I got him when he was a kitten, so it was easy to train him."

Older cats can be trained. It just requires more dedication. I can't make Emma run through a circus routine, but she will sit and get down on command. She travels really well in her carrier, too, which is a huge bonus. Circus-boy was a huge wuss when it came to shoving him in his carrier--he fought tooth and nail, but never won. He died of kidney disease at age 17. He had a good life.

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