The heat and humidity brings out all the weirdos. Seen and heard in NYC:
#1 - A short skinny black guy wearing snug purple shorts, a white tank top, purple sneakers, and some sort of fishnet mesh jacket in hot pink with a hood pulled tightly over his head. He was babbling somewhat incoherently. The jacket-like thing looked to me as if it were made of dyed lingere bags--the kind you would use to separate lacy undies or nylon stockings so they don't get hooked on a button and torn in the wash. That's pushing it, even for The Village.
#2 - Some woman sitting a couple of feet away from me out in front of our office building on Wanamaker Place where a bunch of us go to smoke, laughing hysterically every few seconds, then remaining silent for a few, then cackling again. I assumed she was on a cell phone, and someone was telling her an uproariously funny story. When I stubbed out my butt in the ashtray, and walked back in, I looked over at her. She had short gray curly hair. She continued to guffaw, lean forward and slap her knee. She was NOT on a cell phone--didn't even have a bluetooth earpiece. Ten years ago, I used to assume some schizo was off his or her meds when doing something like that. Now I can't even recognize the crazies anymore because they act like everyone else!
#3 - A guy in a van, parked in front of the office with a miniature schnauzer in his lap, window halfway down. The dog had its paws on the windowsill, and was sticking its head out the window, watching the world go by. The dog's head was shaven into a mohawk hairdo. Looked like it might have been gelled as well. Right neighborhood, wrong species.
#4 - A guy walking East on 9th St. between 5th and University. He was wearing a normal top, but from the waist down, super snug knee length gray leggings, with no underwear lines. The seam for the right and left half ran from his belly button down to his crotch, and presumably back up between his butt cheeks. Eyeew. I really didn't need to know that he had tucked in his nuts on the right and his wing-ding on the left. He was fairly buff, but that's just plain wrong! It looked painful. An editrix at a fashion magazine back in the 1980s famously quipped "A smiling crotch is not a happy crotch." She was referring to women wearing super tight jeans, back in the days of Brooke Shields doing those Calvin Klein jeans ads with the tagline "Nothing gets between me and my Calvins!" Say it with me everybody: "Blecch!"
#1 - A short skinny black guy wearing snug purple shorts, a white tank top, purple sneakers, and some sort of fishnet mesh jacket in hot pink with a hood pulled tightly over his head. He was babbling somewhat incoherently. The jacket-like thing looked to me as if it were made of dyed lingere bags--the kind you would use to separate lacy undies or nylon stockings so they don't get hooked on a button and torn in the wash. That's pushing it, even for The Village.
#2 - Some woman sitting a couple of feet away from me out in front of our office building on Wanamaker Place where a bunch of us go to smoke, laughing hysterically every few seconds, then remaining silent for a few, then cackling again. I assumed she was on a cell phone, and someone was telling her an uproariously funny story. When I stubbed out my butt in the ashtray, and walked back in, I looked over at her. She had short gray curly hair. She continued to guffaw, lean forward and slap her knee. She was NOT on a cell phone--didn't even have a bluetooth earpiece. Ten years ago, I used to assume some schizo was off his or her meds when doing something like that. Now I can't even recognize the crazies anymore because they act like everyone else!
#3 - A guy in a van, parked in front of the office with a miniature schnauzer in his lap, window halfway down. The dog had its paws on the windowsill, and was sticking its head out the window, watching the world go by. The dog's head was shaven into a mohawk hairdo. Looked like it might have been gelled as well. Right neighborhood, wrong species.
#4 - A guy walking East on 9th St. between 5th and University. He was wearing a normal top, but from the waist down, super snug knee length gray leggings, with no underwear lines. The seam for the right and left half ran from his belly button down to his crotch, and presumably back up between his butt cheeks. Eyeew. I really didn't need to know that he had tucked in his nuts on the right and his wing-ding on the left. He was fairly buff, but that's just plain wrong! It looked painful. An editrix at a fashion magazine back in the 1980s famously quipped "A smiling crotch is not a happy crotch." She was referring to women wearing super tight jeans, back in the days of Brooke Shields doing those Calvin Klein jeans ads with the tagline "Nothing gets between me and my Calvins!" Say it with me everybody: "Blecch!"
posted by Admin at 6:16 PM
4 Comments:
And then I see this guy, who is 60 if he's a day old, with hair down to his shoulders, walking up and down Prospect in nothing but leather shorts. That's all I've ever seen him wear. Dogs might find his shorts interesting.
Yeah--like Ren from "Ren & Stimpy" making a crack about wearing unwashed ledherhosen in the cartoon's program start sequence.
God, I miss that show. It was juvenile, but very clever, before the creators booked out, and the network got in new writers. The new writers were the kiss of death for that cartoon; it promptly tanked in the Nielsen ratings.
Egads! Sounds like you're getting an "eye full." Makes for good people watching assuming you are watching from a safe distance.
You should come out here for the Iowa State Fair - people watching at its best. I'm far from a fashion diva, but it never ceases to amaze me what some people will wear out in public.
Dad always talked about bringing me to the Iowa State Fair, when I was a kid, but it never happened. It sounds really fun!
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