Animals Always Obey Me

My own cats have always been trained to obey basic commands: here, fetch, and sit. The vet thinks it's funny, because he's not used to seeing cats act like dogs. He had both cats and dogs when he was growing up in Texas.

My dad adores cats, because he used to have a few on the farm in Dubuque on which he was raised. My mom never let us have any critters that didn't live in a fishbowl when we were kids. I don't think she actually hates animals, but she sure as heck won't be responsible for taking care of one, even though she had a few when she was a kid.

My next door neighbor is on her second dog since I moved in, back in January 1994. Her first dog, a golden retriever, loved me from day one, when he was still a puppy. He was suspicious of males, though, until he got used to Steve. Still, my neighbor never could control a dog that weighed as much as she did; I don't think she ever tried. Murph knocked me over a couple of times in his tail-wagging enthusiasm, but there wasn't a mean bone in his body.

Her second dog is a mutt--half black labrador and half Shetland sheepdog. Bailey's the size of a sheltie, but looks like a lab. She'll bark up a storm and try to herd me. Her owner thinks she's afraid of me, and is acting as a guard dog for her. Bah! Bailey drops the act the second I point to the ground and say "stop it!" to come on over and sit by my feet and get a head smooch. Her owner can't get her to do that.

Steve and I once stopped dead in our tracks on the Douglas Trail to let a doe gallivant in front of us, and waited for her two newborns to follow. Deer are relatively harmless compared to black bears, but still, they can kick your teeth and the rest of your face in, if you're stupid enough to mess with them.

Moving on to the black bear incident . . . we saw one within 50 feet of a tent campsite a few summers ago, when we were hiking to Sunfish Pond to get wild blueberries. We stopped to watch it. It wasn't interested in us; it was too busy snorfling around for grubs. I didn't have my Nikon digicam with me at the time. Bummer, but we later got half a gallon of tiny wild blueberries, which was our original mission. Some Brit hiker asked what we were picking, and tasted one himself, but had to run along with the rest of his Adirondack Trail tour group.

I've seen coyotes and foxes in my back yard, but they never really seemed interested in coming on my patio to bother me. Other than pausing to note my presence, they just mosied along their merry way at a leisurely trot. Apparently, there are enough rabbits and other small critters around here to keep them well fed, so that I don't look like a good meal.

My mom was complaining the other day that she missed all the fun when animal control had to shoot a small male black bear a couple of houses up the street from her. This is the time of year when the older males kick the young ones out, and make them go seek their own mates and territory. It was a shame that one had to die, but suburbia's no place for a black bear. Around here, on the edge of exurbia, it's a lot easier to just nail them with a tranquilizer dart, and relocate them to the woods. My parents are in true suburbia, with no woods and only a couple of ponds within a block of their house. Deer are their main complaint, when they devour half the garden in dry years.