The one and only Deni Bonet is back from her mother's funeral in Florida. I'm nearly ten years older than Deni, so my parents are really getting up there agewise. Mom's had MS for 30 years, and dad has battled cancer on and off (off now), so health issues exist within my family.

Over the years, I've been to funerals for all four of my grandparents, a cousin who was my younger brother's age, and my uncle, who was my dad's younger brother. Two were in Texas, two were in Iowa, and two were in Illinois. That's just family. None of them lived near us, so we visited them from time to time, but not very often.

My best friend in the entire world since grade school had an inoperable congenital heart condition. She made it to 30, which was pretty amazing, but died before she got a heart/lung transplant at John's Hopkins at which she was on the priority list. Her younger brother called me at my office to let me know. Their parents had asked him to call me. A coworker in my department walked into my office right as I hung up the phone. He said "You look like your best friend just died!" It was all I could do to not break down sobbing as I said "She did--last night. That was her brother on the phone calling me to let me know what the funeral arrangements are." God, I hate losing it in public, or in that case, in the office, but I couldn't help it--we'd been best buds since we were kids.

My parents attended her funeral with me, up in Westchester County, NY, and we all got to speak with her family afterward. I declined the invitation to attend a service and sit shiva at her brother's house the following day; they understood--I was raised Catholic (not that it stuck). But I got the most wonderful letter back from her mother regarding the card I sent them later with a whole letter on it.

I still tear up 15 years later when I think of that phone call from her brother, but in the end, I have nothing but the fondest memories of Marian.

I hope that's the way it goes for you, too, Deni! xoxoxo