Clip clop, clip clop. I've submitted my edited story to my editor. It's probably about my eighth edit masquerading as a "second draft." My "first draft" was perhaps my third edit. She never saw the in-between ones.

I think I've done far more than she initially suggested, and I do believe it's a lot better than the "first draft." Is it there yet? No effin' way. I can point to many things I've fixed, but just as many that she never raised that I just know are "problem areas." I simply don't know how to fix everything without some good guidance from a professional editor.

Friends can help as end-users (i.e. readers), but are way too vague to be of real help. They are not editors. Their opinions are valuable, but not invaluable. There's a huge difference. If I were to let a bookworm friend take over, and blue pencil it to death, it would no longer be my story.

I'll defer to my professional editor any day. She knows what she's doing. I trust her. I'm still feeling my way (groping in the dark is more like it) in fiction, but here's my deal:

• I currently suck at fiction, and feel far more comfortable getting my research-oriented articles published in trade journals. Those are easy! The editors almost never change a word or phrase.
  
• I really want to learn and improve at fiction. I'm not a "difficult" person with whom to work.
  
• I've always made my "real" living doing math, not writing.
• I'm not giving up my day job, even if my short story gets published in e-copy and hard copy as part of an anthology. Math is my bread and butter.
  
• If my story never gets published, it's okay with me--I have no manhood points at stake!
• There are at least a half dozen things still wrong with the revised draft I sent my editor. I brought them to her attention, not vice-versa. I might actually be a harsher critic of my own writing than she is.
  
• If I don't want to read my own story, then nobody else will.
• It must be entertaining for a few minutes. That's all it takes to read a short story.

Do I have a really crappy attitude toward having a fiction piece being published? I think it's realistic.